"The Night Before Christmas" Wrap-up!

Regular followers of this blog have just finished reading my take on Clement Moore's immortal tale, "The Night Before Christmas". I hope you all enjoyed it. New readers can check it out by scrolling down or (if you wanna read it in the correct sequence) by clicking the links to the right.

I was inspired to do this series of posts after I looked through a  version of the story Perfect Wifey had dug up that really had horrible illustrations. "I can do better than this!", thought I. No one, though, really needs to see another traditional version of this tale. So, I thought maybe a parody version might be in order. Yes, I know, there are too many of those too, but this  would be my version.

Since it was doubtful I would ever find a publisher for such an effort, I decided to post it on this blog. Since illustrating an entire book in time for Christmas was a daunting prospect, I decided to take it page-by-page. That way, I could squeeze out a verse or two every day, and still make the Christmas deadline.

I planned nothing. I wrote and drew each post in about a half an hour, with no plan as to where I was going with the story. I didn't even know how the whole storyline was going to turn out,  but I thought that this "seat-of-my-pants" approach might produce some interesting results. It did. What I originally planned as a hilarious parody of the original poem,  with all  kinds of Un-Christmas-y shenanigans, instead became the somewhat saccharine, very preachy piece you've just read. I did learn a thing or two in producing it, though. I learned:

• I am a lousy poet.

• Santa's sleigh and his reindeer team are a pain in the eggnog to draw.

• I should take a bit more  time with my drawings. Even if they are "only" for this blog. Some of the drawings really make me cringe, even now, after "just" drawing them. Too late. "They belong to the ages, now."

• I was also toying with the idea, if the results were any good, of collecting the whole thing into a POD book. Unfortunately, it turned out far too short for that. Do they publish POD Leaflets? 

One other thing I learned is that, all cynicism aside, I really believe in the message of my story. Especially the part about continuing the Spirit of Giving throughout the year. It's easy to give at this time of year (Again, I will direct you to Infinite Hollywood's Toys for Tots Drive, but there are lots of opportunities for extending your generosity out there), however it's not so easy to keep doing it all the year long. I'm gonna try, maybe some of you will too.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed all of this. Thanks for at least tolerating it, and sharing your comments. If you didn't enjoy it, and just wish I'd get back to ranting and raving about various bits o' nonsense, no worries! The posts to follow should take care of that!

Merry Christmas!

"The Night Before Christmas" Part 8/The End!

"As St. Nick flew off, he said,  'Be of good cheer!

'And do something for someone who needs it this year!'

His advice was the best gift ever given to me.

Well, not quite: He left a toy Boba Fett, under the tree!

So help someone this season. Do whatever feels right.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Next time: No "Next time"! We're done! Well, maybe I'll add a post-game wrap-up to this series.

"The Night Before Christmas" Part 7

"So try to be grateful, your life is so grand!

You should take time this year,

to give OTHERS a hand!''

I knew Santa was right, I needed no toy.

I should count my blessings, and be full of joy!

''And why just stick to Christmas?', Santa said with a wink,

'Do it all the year long, it's not as hard as you  think!

'Donate food, money and clothes, and give of your time,

When you give to help others, EVERY DAY'S Christmastime!''

Then he was gone. Up the chimney, away!

Out into the night, in his noisy ole sleigh!"

Next time: Our thrilling, preachy conclusion!

"The Night Before Christmas" Part 6

"As if reading my mind Santa said,

'NO gifts this year!

YOU should count all your blessings,  

and be of good cheer!

'You have LOTS to be thankful for,

while others do not:

like Riley and Rocco, and your WIFE! Man, she's HOT!

'I do what can, to help people out there,

those who are struggling, who don't have a prayer.

'I DO deliver some gifts, to good girls and boys,

but you should think of the people that need MORE than toys!

'YOU should think of all those that don't have what you do,

and do what you can, to make THEIR dreams come true!'"

Next time: What is this guy's point?

"The Night Before Christmas" Part 5

"And then in an instant, I heard on the roof,

the clomping and stomping of each giant hoof.

As I pulled in my head and was turning around,

down the chimney Ole Santy Claus came with a bound!

He was wearing the suit that all of us know,

and he flicked off some bits of ashes and snow.

One thing that I noticed: Santa carried no bag!

Where oh where, were our presents?! Our sweet Christmas swag?!"

Next time: The big guy explains.

"The Night Before Christmas" Part 4

"I saw Dasher, and Dancer, and all of the rest,

 but I didn't see Rudolph,  and he's the one I like best!

I realized he was fictitious, and  felt like a goof, 

then I heard Santa land with a 'thud!' on my roof!"

Next time: Santa breaks into my home. It's okay though, because after all, he's Santa Claus, and he might have new Doctor Who toys for me!

"The Night Before Christmas" Part 3

"When out on the lawn there arose  such a clatter,

I crawled out of bed to see what was the matter.

I stepped around Rocco and looked out to see, 

who was causing that ruckus?

It's a quarter past three!

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,

gave a luster of mid-day to objects below.

I didn't care about all that though, because,

as I screamed out to Wifey,

'I JUST SAW SANTA CLAUS!'"

Next time: Did I really see Santa? Or was it my drunken neighbor out on a late night lawn-stumble?

BTW: This is my 300th post!

"The Night Before Christmas": Part 2

"The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

in the hope that Ol' Santy Claus soon would be there.

Rocco was hogging up all of our bed,

his snoring nose inches away from my head.

Perfect Wifey exclaimed, "'Rocco, SHADDAP!,

You're ruining our wonderful, long Winter's nap!'"

Next time: What is all that clattering on the lawn? Is it those teenagers again?!

"The Night Before Christmas" Part 1

Merry Christmas, all! As a Holiday treat, over the next few days, I'll be posting my own take on Clement Moore's classic poem with illustrations by me, day by day. One verse at a time, give or take. Here's the first:

"Twas the night before Christmas,

when all through the house, 

not a creature was stirring, 

'cause Riley had eaten the mouse!

Up next: Is Mama (aka: Perfect Wifey) really sleeping in her kerchief? Is there a cap large enough to contain my giant noggin? Come back tomorrow and find out!