Sick of Being Sick- AGAIN! -UPDATED
It all began a few weeks ago, when one day out of the blue, I started to have severe pain in my abdomen. I have had these pains before, and those pains had led me to a Hospital stay and the knowledge that I have a pancreatic mass that I will be carrying around with me forever (you can read all about that fun time here ). At the time I got the original diagnosis, I was told that if I followed the Doctor's instructions and took care of myself, I would not experience such pain again.
Well, big surprise, but I guess I didn't do so well following instructions and taking care of myself, because the pain was back, and it seemed worse than before. So I headed for my local emergency room, and, after it was established that I would be able to pay for treatment, I was pumped full of pain killers and left in a room to wait for further diagnosis. So I waited. And waited. And... Well I waited so long and the pain killers did their job so well that I didn't feel the need for further treatment. I detached the myriad of tubes connected to me went home. A stupid move? You bet! It didn't seem so at the time though: I felt great all weekend!
|Me, heavily sedated, at the hospital staff's|
request, I suspect
Wednesday morning I awoke to find that my pain was back, and worse than ever. I tried to pull myself together for the Funeral. I figured I could suffer through that, then head for the ER. Well, I couldn't, and was soon back at the same Hospital I had just so recently escaped from. The pain was so bad this time, and I was pumped up with such a dizzying array of drugs that I remember none of the next few days' events. Which is a good thing because according to Perfect Wifey (who had a front row seat to all this), I was not on my best behavior.
According to PW, in my altered state I, at various times:
• Was under the impression that I was a bad actor currently appearing in a B-Horror film, and I didn't think much of the crew (a.k.a. the Hospital staff).
• I thought I was staying at a vacation resort in Rhode Island. My Brother-In-Law said that it was with great pride that I pointed out how posh the bathroom was. It was a bucket in the corner.
• I told everyone around that at any moment now the 3 Stooges were coming for a visit.
|Better get up soon. The Stooges will |
be here any minute now!
They also decided that what I officially had was a "Pancreatic Mass with a blockage in my bile duct". They would have to place a "stent" in there, but the procedure would have to be done at a Hospital in Boston, because they did not have the equipment for it there. On hearing of my behavior, I wonder if they really did have the equipment, but just wanted me outta there.
Whatever, off to Boston I went, to a Hospital that was actually the setting for the TV series "St. Elsewhere"!
Eventually, I was given the surgery and began to come around to "normal". After hearing about how badly I behaved, I felt terrible, and spent the rest of my stay apologizing to the staff. The "Communist Couple" had left, so I couldn't apologize to them. PW says not to worry about it though, as they felt sorry for me being so sick.
My adventures weren't completely over with, of course. In addition to the usual Hospital round-the-clock wake-ups to check my blood pressure, one morning I was woken at 4:30 AM so I could have my weight checked. Why they needed that info at that hour is something I never did find out.
|Me as Fatty McButterpants.|
Don't lift that jonny, if you
know what's good for ya!
Also, since I had been so out of it and restrained for so long, I was fed by an IV drip. As a result of all that "nourishment" and inactivity, I gained 35 pounds, all in water weight, and all below the belt. I could barely move, and I guess it's gonna be a while until I am back to my "normal" weight and size. My legs and feet look like Fred Flintstone's. My slippers don't even fit!
So, my adventures in the world of medicine will continue for a spell. Not only do I have to lose all this weight (it's swimsuit season after all, and I wouldn't wanna disappoint the "ladies"), it turns out I need one more surgery in August, so that they can put a "permanent" stent in. Why they didn't just put in a permanent stent to begin with I don't know. I'm just gonna do whatever they tell me to do and hope I recover ASAP!
And wait patiently for the 3 Stooges to show up.
UPDATE 7/3/2012- I suppose some of you out there are wondering why there have been no more posts since I wrote the above. Well, a couple of days after posting, I awoke with a horrible burning pain in my left leg. It turns out I had developed an infection thanks to my previous "procedure", so it was back into the hospital for me.
Fortunately, the hospital I stayed at this time was far better than the previous one. The staff at this hospital actually got to the bottom of what was truly wrong with me, and put me on a plan that will eventually restore me to my former glory.
|A strategically-placed giant cat insures the|
patient won't roll off the couch.
Now I gotta run. I have to make sure I have a clean johnny to wear on Thursday...