2011, ALREADY?!

Where does the time go? Another year over, another year gone.  We here at Casa del Blanco had our ups and downs, but overall, we had a pretty good year. Here are some of the highlights and low lights:

• We started the year with me having serious medical issues. Not the most auspicious start to the year, but fortunately everything worked out for the best, and I am feeling fine. I also got a freelance gig as a result of the experience!

• Alas, we lost my Mum, which was sad, but I really believe she has gone on to a much better place. One where all of her beloved pets are around her, and "Happy Hour" starts whenever she likes. Also, a place where she and her cousin Marie don't have to battle it out over who pays the check. I am also happy that the bond between my Sisters and I was re-affirmed during the whole ordeal.

• Perfect Wifey and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary, and we couldn't be happier. I don't know what it is about this woman, but somehow, she enriches my life in every way.

• PW and I also got to travel a lot this year. We went to NYC, Orlando (more on that later, I promise!) and my favorite, Albany, NY! Who knows what our travel plans for 2011 hold? Could a trip to Dover, NJ be in our future?

• Rocco the Wonder Dog. For those who came in late, I love this little guy. Man's Best Friend, indeed.

• I had the opportunity to participate in a number of local theatre productions. It was enough to convince me that, really, I am done with that.

• My "Cartooning Career" had all kinds of ups and downs. I am hoping for better in 2011. If you know of anyone that needs an artist, gimmie a call.

• The most rewarding thing, though, I hafta say, is doing this blog, and reading the comments from all of you faithful readers. To David, Paula, Chris, Mykal, eeteed, Scott, Mike, Pepper, Newton, Mark and anyone else who has visited this blog and left a comment, good or bad, thanks. For those of you reading this that haven't commented, comment! You could be on this list next year!

• One big low light: Still no Remote Controlled K9. Oh well, other than that, a very good year.

As a famous Doctor once said: "To days to come, and all my love to long ago."

And They Said It Wouldn't Last...

If you thought my Birthday a few days ago was cause to celebrate, this weekend, Perfect Wife and I celebrate our Second Wedding Anniversary!

When I refer to her as "Perfect Wife", I am not exaggerating. In previous posts on this blog, I have often put forth the question of why such a beautiful, smart, kind, caring, funny, etc. woman would see a goofball like me as ideal husband material. Whatever her reasons, it's too late for her now. Barring intervention from the courts, she is stuck with me.

Since it is our anniversary, allow me to tell you the tale of how I went from a happy bachelor, to an even happier married man.

When I was growing up, there was a family down the street from us that had a bunch of cute daughters. The future PW was the middle daughter in this family, and in my unbiased opinion, the cutest. My two  sisters used to babysit for the family, and although I had no personal contact with any of the girls, I at least assumed they knew who I was, since our neighborhood wasn't that big. I certainly would have liked to have talked  to them, but they didn't seem too friendly. I later found out they were all painfully shy, but at the time I thought they were stuck  up. Actually, I sometimes suspect that the whole "we were shy" story was a dodge, and they really were a bit stuck up.

 

I grew up  and moved out of the neighborhood, and kinda forgot about that family. Every once and awhile though, when I was with former neighbors, this family's name would come up, and we would wonder what happened to them.

Fast forward 20 years or so. I was appearing in a local community theatre production of "Seussical the Musical". I was playing the Cat in the Hat. (If you are wondering how I kept my dignity while prancing about the stage in a cat suit and a giant red & white striped hat, the answer is, I couldn't. Maybe someday I'll get liquored up and post a picture of myself in costume, just for laughs.) Before the first rehearsal, I was perusing the cast list, when I noticed the name of  the cute girl from my old neighborhood! Could this be the same person? I went to the first rehearsal, and it turned out, yes, it was the same girl from the old neighborhood! After rehearsal was over, I went up to say hello to her. I felt she'd be thrilled to see someone from the old neighborhood.

She wasn't.

When I introduced myself, she looked at me blankly. I reminded her that my sisters used to babysit for her family. She told me she remembered my sisters well,  she was just surprised to learn that they had a brother. I was aware I was not the most popular kid in my neighborhood, but I didn't realize until that moment that I was also a nonentity. To her credit, I think PW wife felt bad she didn't remember me. I think.

As the weeks of rehearsal passed, we spent more time talking to each other and then we segued into emailing each other once and awhile. Then, we started emailing each other a lot. I developed a huge crush on PW, but I wasn't sure if she had any interest in me. Her behavior towards me seemed to indicate that she did at times, and then other times it seemed like she was once again unaware I existed. It was like reliving high school relationships all over again.

Eventually, we made our feelings known to each other, and found out that we both  felt  the same way. In deference to those of you with weak stomachs, I will spare you the mushy details of our courtship. We ended up getting married, and the rest is history. We are truly best friends, and I cannot imagine life without her. She claims to feel the same way.

 If I have any regrets about our relationship, it's only that I wish we had gotten together 20  years ago. Apparently though, the woman has to be aware the man exists for that to happen. I am sure people are jealous of our marriage, and they should be. 

So take heart, dear, lonely, reader! If I could manage to meet the person/plant/thing of my dreams, you can too! Just get yourself out there and start looking! You'll find them.

I just hope you don't have to dress up as The Cat in the Hat to  do it.

Little Awful Annie

As an aficionado of community theatre, I have seen some wonderful productions presented by talented amateurs over the years. Unfortunately, I have also seen  some interpretations of classic shows and musicals that would have the original creative teams behind the plays rolling in their graves. Provided, of course, that they were dead.

There have been many. Some, blessedly, have faded into memory. Others, like the 3+ hour version of "Fiddler on the Roof" performed by 7th graders, or the production of "70 Girls, 70" (a show about senior citizens performed by actors aged 12 to 17), remain all-too-vivid memories. To be fair,  I have also appeared in some clunkers.

There is one show, however, that wipes  all thoughts of a 12  year old Frumah Sarah from my mind.

The opus I'm speaking of was a presentation of the Broadway hit, "ANNIE". Back in the 70's this show was a huge hit on the Great White Way, so when the local PTO of the school my Mother was Principal of heard of a company that would  come and do a benefit performance of this show as a fundraiser, the local PTO leaders jumped at the chance, and booked them right away.

Since the company was traveling without a backstage crew, my Mother asked my friend Bob and I if we would help out, as we both had some backstage experience in high school shows, and I had the honor of being the President of my HS drama club. (By the way, if you think that being the President of the drama club could help me score the respect of my peers,  you couldn't be more wrong. I would have saved time by wearing a tee shirt that said, "HEY, I'M PRESIDENT OF THE 'FAGGOT CLUB'! MOCK ME!")

I was a bit puzzled at the time that a local group was performing "ANNIE", as I didn't think the rights to present it had been released to amateurs yet. I questioned my Mother  about  this, but she assured me that the PTO had checked everything  out, and all was  legit.

It wasn't.

When the group showed up to perform for a packed house, we discovered the "company" was a group of local kids aged 8 to 17, performing an unlicensed version of the show, under the direction of their "instructor", a 35 year old woman named Cindy. Since Cindy wasn't sure that her cast could adequately perform the title role with all the nuance it required, she herself portrayed  Annie. You may wonder if  a grown, pudgy woman could pull this off, especially since she towered over the children in the cast and could not sing. Well, even though she delivered her lines in a creepy baby doll voice, and sang as loudly off-key as she could, in all kindness, I must say she did not do justice to the role. It was more like watching out takes from "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane".

There are so many horrifying aspects to this show that are burned in my memory, that I haven't the time or the stomach to regale you with all of them, so here  are some "highlights":

• The role of Sandy the Dog was played by Cindy's own dog, a beagle who was 19 years old with a grey, wizened face, and chronic arthritis. He was also not a method actor, and had to be dragged around stage against his will,  causing him to begin choking up phlegm balls. This spoiled a bit of the pacing of the show. With all his coughing, hacking and creaking joints, it didn't look like Sandy was going to live through the performance, but trouper that he was, he did.

By the way, if you are wondering why a beagle was playing the role of a dog named after his "sandy" color, this was explained in some clever dialogue added by Cindy, who explained, "I call him 'Sandy", because of the sandy color on his head". Since he also sported the colors white and black, why didn't she choose to call  him "Blackie" or "Whitey", or, given his advanced age, "Grey-ie"? The author chose to avoid this question.

• Given the small amount of performers in the piece, there was  a lot of doubling up on roles amongst the cast. No one had it harder than the only male in the cast. A 13 year old who portrayed every single male role. Fortunately for him, director Cindy didn't think the character of Daddy Warbucks was essential to the plot, and limited his appearances to the boy shouting Daddy's lines from offstage. Other characters sang his songs, after telling Annie "Daddy wants me to sing this for you". Such liberties with the script  were  common in this production, and by the time the show was over, none of us who were there were sure whether it had lasted 45 minutes or 45 hours. Some even wondered if it happened at all.

We got our confirmation soon enough. The next day, my Mother began to receive hate mail from disgruntled parents. The general tone of most of the letters was that the show was a "piece of crap", and they had been "ripped off", and blamed my Mother for the whole thing. They were correct about the quality of  the show of course, but my wise Mother wasn't about to jump in front of the bus for this one, and passed the comments (and blame) on to the true culprits, the misguided board of the PTO. All parties involved put the whole nightmare behind us.

Or did we? Later that year, I was at my local library, when the librarian asked me and a friend to help her set up chairs, as a group was  coming to perform the next day. You can see where this is going. Yes, it was a production of "ANNIE". My friend and I regaled the librarian with the tales of horror of what we had seen, and she was deeply concerned. We told her not to worry, we were sure the group we had seen wouldn't dare set foot in our town again.

The next day, curiosity got the better of us, and we went to  check the show out. Sure enough, if was the same group doing the same awful production. Even Sandy was still alive and kicking, although by the looks of him, we were sure he wished he wasn't.

We felt terrible for the poor librarian, but after the "performance", she came running up to us with a big smile and said, "Wasn't that darling?! I'm so glad it  wasn't that group you told me about!" We just smiled and nodded. As we ran out, we passed  Sandy throwing up in the lobby.

We knew how he felt.

Down Time

Sorry for the lapse in  posting the last few  days, Faithful Readers, but Perfect Wife and I have been  performing in a local theatrical production, and that doesn't leave a lot of free time.

However! Now that we have the "opening weekend" behind us, I will now have the time to post all the random thoughts and ramblings I have had in the past few days.

Next time, I promise you a boatload of hilarity!