To Boldly Go Where No Waffle Has Gone Before!

Whenever a big Summer blockbuster is released, there is always a whole crap load of connected merchandise released in stores at the same time. I suppose movie makers think, "Hey, if they loved the movie, they'll love the bed sheets!"

Movie tie-ins are usually the usual stuff: fast food kids toys, tee shirts, drinking glasses, action figures and the like. Sometimes though, you spot a movie-related product that is a real head-scratch er. 

Take Eggo™ Star Trek Waffles. Please.

I myself love Star Trek, and I do enjoy a toasted Eggo™ every now and then (although not to the extreme that I run about the house pointing fingers and shrieking, "Leggo my Eggo™!", to my family at breakfast time). Apparently, the folks in R & D at Kellogg's® figured there must be a lot of folks like me out there, who would find the combination of waffles and science fiction adventure irresistible. To fill that demographic need, they produced this breakfast food.

As you can see from the box pictured above, the waffles are your usual Eggos™, but with a circular depression in the middle. Inside the circle is a full color cartoon of assorted Star Trek moments. Not only does the aforementioned circular depression rob the waffle of valuable butter-holding nook & cranny space, but the colored images really give one pause. For one thing, due to the apparent deficiencies in waffle-printing technology, the images look pretty bad. I had one of Captain Kirk sitting in his command chair that looked like he was sitting on the commode. You also have to wonder what they use to color the waffle. Is it harmless food coloring? Let's hope so. The colors definitely add a "flavor" to the waffle that no amount of butter, margarine or Mrs. Butterworth's can mask.

So, I'm sorry, but this is one product tie-in I can't recommend. This is just my opinion, though, you may love them. If you do, start hoarding them. They're out for "a limited time only". Probably just until they release the Shrek 4 Eggos™.

As for me, I'll stick to my Mr. T™ cereal.

Cell-ing Out

When I was a lad, I used to love the tricorders on the TV series, "Star Trek". "Wouldn't it be great," thought I, "to have a device so you could get in touch with someone whenever you needed to?"

Be careful what you wish for. We now have cell phones. 

I have a cell phone, and I must admit, it gives me a great feeling of security that, should I ever break down in my car in the middle of nowhere, I will be able to contact help. Provided I have enough "bars" in the area for my cell phone to work. Just like on "Star Trek".

There is a small problem with cell phones, however: PEOPLE CAN'T GET OFF THE FREAKIN' THINGS! No matter where you go, someone is chatting away on their cell. Here are some of my "favorites":

• People in the supermarket, loudly asking the person at home what they need to get. Gee, in my day, we had some little inventions called "pencils" and "paper", on

which you wrote what you needed to get before you left for the store.

• People driving in their cars and chatting away on their phone, while trying to make left turns, drinking coffee, or anything else you're not supposed to do while you should be concentrating on the road and have both hands on the wheel.

• How about the folks who chat on the phone in public restrooms? I have had a few  incidents where I was sitting in a stall, doing my "business", alone with my thoughts, when I thought I heard someone speaking to me. "Hello?", I replied. Then I heard a voice saying, "Hold on, some creep in the next stall is talking to me." Turns out, it was just my next door neighbor on their cell. Was what you had to tell your contact SOOOO important you couldn't wait till you got off the potty?

• The biggest bane of my existence, however, is teenagers "text messaging". Sure, I was once a teen, and I liked communicating with my friends, but I never really felt the need to send a message about every single piece of minutia that was happening to me at the moment. Maybe it's a generation-gap thing.

This post is rapidly becoming a grumpy old man rant about change and the manners of young people, so I will end it here.

Besides, my cell phone is ringing!