I Love Lillian

With the Holidays fast approaching, those of you who can actually afford to purchase Christmas gifts this year may be stumped over the perfect presents to get your loved ones. Don't worry, I'm here to help.

I suggest you look no further than The Lillian Vernon Catalog!

If you don't own a postal address, you may be unfamiliar with Lillian's circular. It seems to arrive virtually every other week, and is chock-full of knick-knacks, gadgets, gizmos, decor, questionable fashion choices and many other things you never thought you wanted or needed. As an added bonus, you can get seemingly every item  personalized with your loved one's (or your own)  name. FOR FREE!

Need a "World's Best Grandma" tee shirt? They have 'em! A (personalized) dog whistle key chain? It's here. Have you been scouring the stores for a cape that will catch the hair when you get a trim? Is there someone on your list who wants a (personalized) airplane clock? Look no further, Lillian has all these items and more.

She also has one item for the Holidays that I find especially endearing. Let's say your Uncle Joe (or whomever) has recently passed on. You will surely miss him, especially his annual tradition of getting loaded at your Christmas party and accidently trying to exit your home through the downstairs closet. Wouldn't it be nice to remember him with a special, personalized (of course) imitation silver tree ornament engraved with the verse:

"I WENT AWAY,

BUT DON'T SHED A TEAR,

I'M SPENDING MY CHRISTMAS,

WITH JESUS THIS YEAR."

Although this poem may be misinterpreted by some as meaning Uncle Joe has snubbed you for a better party, I find the sentiment touching. At least your loved ones will feel he's having a nice Holiday someplace.

Yes, The Lillian Vernon catalog has it all.

I just hope I haven't ruined any surprises for those of you on my gift list!