Drawing Conclusions

Perfect Wife and I love shopping at the dollar store. We love it because: A) We're cheap, and B) we find great bargains on stuff we need that we really don't want to fork over a lot of dough for, like toilet paper and dog food for Rocco the Wonder Dog. Don't think that we are treating him poorly by feeding him cheap food. Rocco does not exactly possess an educated palette, and he as just as happy with the cheap stuff as he is with some designer dog food that costs more than our food does.

On our recent trip to the dollar store, I bought myself a few pads of newsprint. I like to sketch on newsprint, but it is, for some reason, really pricey at the art supply store. The pads I got were nothing fancy. They were children's coloring pads, but I don't mind since they were, after all, only a dollar! 

Since these pads were intended for children, the manufacturer of them must have worried that once kids had them in hand, they wouldn't know that they could draw in them. He also must have worried that even if they were aware of the pad's potential for drawing, they would not know how to draw. He must have made the decision to teach them how to draw, himself. Inside the front cover of the pad is the instruction sheet you see here (click on it to see it bigger), titled "Drawing Ideas". 

The lessons start on a troubling note. The  child attempting to follow these instructions must first get past a mocking child at the top of the page. "Have fun learning to draw", he sneers at you, as if a loser like you is never going to be able to learn to draw, and you most certainly won't have fun trying. Fortunately for the reader, there is also a dog at the top of the page, encouraging the child  with a confidence-building cry of "WOOF!"

Once we get past these two, we get to the lessons. Since space was limited, the author of this piece had to focus on only four subjects to teach you to draw. He (or she) selected a flower, a butterfly, a fish and a dog's head. I personally think you might want to learn how to draw a few more things than this, but that's just my opinion. Perhaps there is some child out there who will one day make his fortune with a popular comic strip about the wacky adventures of a flower, a butterfly, a fish and a dog's head. The money from merchandising rights alone might be tremendous, given the popularity of flowers, butterflies, fish and dogs' heads.

That sure would show that kid at the top of the page!