Wednesday, July 2, 2008

My First Movie Review

Went to the movies last night, to see the new Will Smith film, "Hancock".

I have always admired the hi-falutin' critics who examine the themes, the cinematography, the acting and design of movies.

I can't write a review like them.

Simply put, "Hancock" is a bad movie. It sucks, don't go see it. End of review.

On a side note, my family and I went to see this in my favorite movie theatre, which I discussed in a previous post. True to form, it was virtually deserted, and the staff let us walk in with a giant shopping bag of candy, never checking to see if we  had tickets. (We did.)

Man, I love this place!

The only downside: The theatre was absolutely empty, so why did a middle-aged woman sit DIRECTLY in front of us?! Was she lonely? Did she feel her melon-sized head blocking my view would enhance my movie-going experience? The fact that she smelled like salami and laughed at inappropriate moments did nothing to improve my impression of the film.

I have gotten a bit off track, in this, my first movie review, but in a nutshell, "Hancock" stinks.
It's not Will Smith's worst movie (That honor still goes to "Wild, Wild West"), but it's pretty close. If you must go to the movies, go see "Iron Man" again.

Or wait a week for the new Batman movie.

7 Comments:

Blogger Pepper Potts said...

Well, having accompanied you to the Hancock movie last night, I feel I can voice my opinion. I didn't think it stunk, but it did lose its direction. The acting was good as were the special effects, but the story line was bland. Too many subplots and not enough character development. But, hey--we only wasted around $40.00 with snacks and drinks.

I guess that's why people wait for movies to come out on DVD now. Everyone can watch it for $3.99, and snacks are free!

Looking forward to tomorrow's rant.. er, I mean blog.

July 2, 2008 at 5:00 PM  
Blogger David said...

Hey, I liked "Wild, Wild West"! It had Selma Hayek which makes it a cinematic tour-de-force with deep social impact and a take-home message. Well, at least it had a take home message for me; at least until later that night.
I guess what you're saying is that the best part of Hancock were pretty much covered in the commercial. It's weird though because Will Smith is a pretty good judge of quality (as well as a good actor)and he really liked the script. By the way, I loved his cameo in "Jersey Girl". I guess I won't bother with this one based on your glowing review although I did miss a couple of good movies a while back because they were panned by a guy who panned "Turner and Hootch" because the dog died in it.

July 2, 2008 at 5:33 PM  
OpenID parvocell said...

Sorry to hear about your movie experience, especially the "melon head". That is my main pet peave. I hate when people do stuff like that; park right next to you in an empty parking lot, crowd you at the Starbuck's when there's another empty condiment counter, ride your tail on the highway when the two other lanes are empty. There should be a new explitive invented for these people in pop culture that you can use in these situations like the "L" fingers on the forehead. How about we all get together and start coining the curved thumb and fingers (the ASL sign for the letter "c") thrust at the offender in the universal gesture for "CROWDER"!!!!

July 2, 2008 at 5:43 PM  
Blogger John F said...

Too bad about Hancock - looked promising in previews. Oh and Melon Woman must make appearances elsewhere - we've seen her in our neck too . . .

If in need of quality filmgoing before Batman check out Wall-E. Those Pixar folks have figured out great storytelling.

July 3, 2008 at 12:45 AM  
Blogger Salieri said...

Well, I have an unopened DVD copy of "I am Legend" that was given to me as a gift and that I have never opened.

I am shuddering just contemplating it. "Brrrrrr"

July 4, 2008 at 9:27 AM  
Blogger Pepper Potts said...

This is your step-daughter speaking...

Personally, having seen the movie twice, once with you, and once with my bff, I didn't find it that bad of a movie. I agree with pepper potts, the acting was very good, and they obviously worked hard on the special effects. Maybe I just liked it because i love Will Smith soooo much!!! But with him out of mind, the story line was a little murky, not enough history, it got too confusing. If will smith wasn't in the movie, i would not have seen it again let me just say.

Maybe if you were a girl Bill, you would have a different opinion, because no girl can hate a will smith movie!!!

July 14, 2008 at 10:59 PM  
Blogger Bill White said...

I do have a girlish shriek, does that count?

July 15, 2008 at 11:15 AM  

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