Roll 'Em!

As a young man, I went to every motion picture I could. It didn't matter if the subject matter appealed to me, I just loved going to the movies.

Well, times have changed. I no longer really enjoy the "movie going experience". It takes a lot to get me to actually go to a movie, as opposed to just waiting for something to come out on DVD, usually 1 to 2 weeks after the film has appeared in theaters. There are some reasons for this:

• I hate crowds. As I have aged, I loathe being shoulder to shoulder, squeezed in between the great unwashed.

• I don't enjoy "character advisors". These are my fellow filmgoers who are under the impression that the characters on the screen can hear them, and will take their shouted warnings under advisement, and will adjust their actions accordingly. Here's a tip if you are one of these people: They cannot hear you, and even if  they could, that nubile teenage girl is still going into that haunted house/deserted barn/ abandoned campground/ Will Farrell's house.

• It's expensive!

• I may accidently see an Adam Sandler or Mike Myers movie.

Occasionally, though, there are movies I have to see immediately when they are released. "Iron Man" was a recent example of this, and the new Batman movie will see me in the theatre on opening night, provided I can convince my wife this will be the perfect way to celebrate our anniversary.

I will not be seeing the new Batman movie on opening night.

When I do venture out to the movies I am blessed to have the perfect movie theatre in my town. No matter how popular the movie, no one goes here. Opening night of "Iron Man", one of the biggest movies of the Summer, saw less than a dozen people in the audience.

There are other perks to this venue. The door at the back of the theatre is seldom locked, so if you are short on cash you can just walk on in. For a more upscale experience, the staff really doesn't check if you have a ticket, so you can basically walk in without paying. (I of course, having a good dose a Catholic Guilt, always pay my way, but it's nice to know these economic options are available.)

Another perk, unlike other theaters, the staff doesn't really care if you bring in your own food and drinks. I am convinced I could bring in a  bucket of KFC, and a bottle of Colt 45, and the staff wouldn't bat an eye.

I don't know how this place  stays in business, but this will be my movie theater of choice as long as it lasts.

You probably would like to know where this magical place is located, but the more people that know about it, the more people will go there. Then I won't like it anymore, so mum's the word.

Besides, the new Mike Myers' movie is playing there now.