I am hungry.
Unfortunately, my hunger will go unappeased, because I long for snacks that are no longer produced.
It seems every time I fall in love with a product and grow to rely on it, it promptly ceases to exist, or at least, become unavailable to me. This is true of all kinds of consumer goods: Art supplies change their formulas, new models of cars aren't as good as the originals, and they don't make Member's Only jackets anymore.
But with snack foods this is especially vexing.
As a lad, I really loved "Educator Crackers". These were thin, baked cheese crackers that came in a brown and white box with a cartoon of a little college professor on them. They were crispy, cheesy and delicious, and I am salivating thinking about them just now. Alas, they disappeared sometimes in the early 80's and now it seems I'm the only person who remembers them. Just try doing a google search for them. Nothing.
My other major favorite was "Chipsters" made by the Nabisco™ company. These were little potato crisps that were nothing like potato chips. They were better. They also disappeared in the 80's. (It was a bad time for junk food fanatics, they cancelled Pepsi Light around the same time.)
The good news for me about Chipsters is I learned online that they are still sold in Italy, under the name, Cipsters. My friend was going to Italy and was nice enough to bring a few bags (they were originally sold in a box) back with him. Except for the box, they were just as I remembered them. Of course, they were gone before I knew it. I was alone again.
Then I learned through taquito.net (a fabulous junk food site) that Whole Foods sold something they claimed was very similar to Chipsters. My perfect wife and I immediately made the trek to WF and...
Close but no cigar. Oh, they looked like Chipsters, and they had Chipsters heady aroma, but they weren't Chipsters. They weren't even Cipsters.
Why are Chipster/Cipsters sold in Italy and not the US of A? According to the Nabisco™ website, they receive numerous requests for this and other products, but they are not manufactured at this time. Why not?!
Oh, to live in the beautiful, enlightened land of Italy, and sit at the topless beach with a big bag of Chipster/Cipsters!
After reading this, you may think, "With all the troubles in the world (The war, gas prices, Bravo TV) why is a grown man whining about the snack foods of his youth?!"
I don't know. But if you're going to Italy, pick me up a couple of bags of Cipsters.