Thursday, November 17, 2011

Mrs. McDonald?

As a lifetime customer and aficionado of the McDonald's™ fast food chain, I have often wondered about the private life of  their mascot, Ronald McDonald™. In television commercials we see him  skipping around with children, before luring them to the premises of his corporate overlords. What though, does he do when the cameras aren't rolling? Does Ronald have a private life? 

We all know that Ronald  has friends like Grimace™ and the Hamburgler™, but are there any chicks in McDonaldland™? What does Ronald do when he has "urges" that a Happy Meal just won't satisfy? Is there a "Mrs. McDonald"?

I'd like to think that there is. A beautiful, comely clown-woman who shares Ronald's love of questionable dietary choices and hanging around with children you are not related to. Let's call her "Donna McDonald".  Donna loves to share in all of Ronald's interests. She likes long walks on the beach, eating McNuggets™ in an evocative way and doesn't mind when Mayor McCheese™ calls in the middle of the night in a Shamrock Shake™-induced seizure.

It would be pretty to think that Ronald had such a supportive woman at his side, but in reality I'm afraid he would be stuck with the other image I have posted here: Bertha McDonald. This overweight battle axe would question every decision Ronald made ("You're bringing back  the McRib™, again?!") and blame Ronald for the onset  of  her Type II Diabetes.

I might be wrong though. What do YOU, the faithful readers of  this blog, think? Vote for your choice of Ronald  McDonald's™ ideal  mate in the comments section. Once I have tallied up the thousands of votes I receive (please note ironic sarcasm), I'll forward  the results to McDonald's™ headquarters, and we can give  this corporate shill the bride he deserves!

Unless they serve me with a cease and desist order...

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Blogger Sharon G. said...

I'm sure Ronald has some serious dough in McDonaldland, so I would assume he could get any babe he wanted. I vote for the skinnier, more attractive clown.

November 17, 2011 at 12:38 PM  
Blogger Mykal Banta said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

November 17, 2011 at 12:40 PM  
Blogger Mykal Banta said...

Donna. A thousand times, Donna. She's a stone cold fox. I prefer to think of Ronald as a player.

November 17, 2011 at 12:41 PM  
Blogger John F said...

Firstly - hilarious drawinz, sir! Ronald needs a break today: I say Donna is his trophy clown.

November 17, 2011 at 12:50 PM  
Anonymous Newt said...

I like to think of Ronald as a wealthy, all powerful pimp as well... However, McDonalds is pure hell, and if I'm in control of Ronald's fate, I'm sticking him with the fugly broad. It's the least I can do for their years of diarrhea inducing food.

November 17, 2011 at 12:56 PM  
Blogger P.L. Frederick said...

Bertha, because any reasonable person fears clowns. Besides, Ronald McDonald stands for Every Man and his spouse should too.

P.L. Frederick (Small & Big)

November 17, 2011 at 1:41 PM  
Blogger David said...

I'm digging Donna!!!

November 17, 2011 at 3:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my vote goes to bertha, who i'm guessing is really grimace in drag.


November 17, 2011 at 5:45 PM  
Blogger Bill White said...

Interesting reasons for votes. I thinks If I were Ronald, I would of course, want Donna, since she's pretty much a clown version of Perfect Wifey, except PW would hate late night calls from my McDonaldland pals, and she would also be opposed to the return of the McRib™ sandwich to the menu.

November 18, 2011 at 4:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's gotta be Donna! A great design!

Steve Dooner

November 19, 2011 at 12:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Je voudrais aussi Donna. Elle est la femme idéal pour Ronald et elle porte le costume de clown parfaitement. Je pense de le phrase <>.

Hello from your number 1 fan in France!

November 21, 2011 at 6:58 AM  

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