Mrs. McDonald?
As a lifetime customer and aficionado of the McDonald's™ fast food chain, I have often wondered about the private life of their mascot, Ronald McDonald™. In television commercials we see him skipping around with children, before luring them to the premises of his corporate overlords. What though, does he do when the cameras aren't rolling? Does Ronald have a private life? We all know that Ronald has friends like Grimace™ and the Hamburgler™, but are there any chicks in McDonaldland™? What does Ronald do when he has "urges" that a Happy Meal just won't satisfy? Is there a "Mrs. McDonald"?
I'd like to think that there is. A beautiful, comely clown-woman who shares Ronald's love of questionable dietary choices and hanging around with children you are not related to. Let's call her "Donna McDonald". Donna loves to share in all of Ronald's interests. She likes long walks on the beach, eating McNuggets™ in an evocative way and doesn't mind when Mayor McCheese™ calls in the middle of the night in a Shamrock Shake™-induced seizure.
It would be pretty to think that Ronald had such a supportive woman at his side, but in reality I'm afraid he would be stuck with the other image I have posted here: Bertha McDonald. This overweight battle axe would question every decision Ronald made ("You're bringing back the McRib™, again?!") and blame Ronald for the onset of her Type II Diabetes.
I might be wrong though. What do YOU, the faithful readers of this blog, think? Vote for your choice of Ronald McDonald's™ ideal mate in the comments section. Once I have tallied up the thousands of votes I receive (please note ironic sarcasm), I'll forward the results to McDonald's™ headquarters, and we can give this corporate shill the bride he deserves!
Unless they serve me with a cease and desist order...
Labels: McDonald's Restaurants, Ronald McDonald
posted by Bill White at
12:03 PM
11 Comments:
I'm sure Ronald has some serious dough in McDonaldland, so I would assume he could get any babe he wanted. I vote for the skinnier, more attractive clown.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Donna. A thousand times, Donna. She's a stone cold fox. I prefer to think of Ronald as a player.
Firstly - hilarious drawinz, sir! Ronald needs a break today: I say Donna is his trophy clown.
I like to think of Ronald as a wealthy, all powerful pimp as well... However, McDonalds is pure hell, and if I'm in control of Ronald's fate, I'm sticking him with the fugly broad. It's the least I can do for their years of diarrhea inducing food.
Bertha, because any reasonable person fears clowns. Besides, Ronald McDonald stands for Every Man and his spouse should too.
P.L. Frederick (Small & Big)
I'm digging Donna!!!
my vote goes to bertha, who i'm guessing is really grimace in drag.
eeteed
Interesting reasons for votes. I thinks If I were Ronald, I would of course, want Donna, since she's pretty much a clown version of Perfect Wifey, except PW would hate late night calls from my McDonaldland pals, and she would also be opposed to the return of the McRib™ sandwich to the menu.
It's gotta be Donna! A great design!
Steve Dooner
Je voudrais aussi Donna. Elle est la femme idéal pour Ronald et elle porte le costume de clown parfaitement. Je pense de le phrase <>.
Hello from your number 1 fan in France!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home