Wednesday, August 6, 2008

TV on Movies

If you're like me, you have a hard time adjusting to changes. So, if you're like me and read this blog on a regular basis, you'll glad to know all is as it was. I am still not posting every day, and, SURPRISE! No images yet. 

Hey, it's been a busy week.

So, today, I thought I'd ruminate on a subject that has been on my mind for quite awhile: Why does Hollywood keep making movies out of TV shows people barely remember?

We've had a lot lately. "Alvin & the Chipmunks", "Underdog", "Get Smart"...  You can probably name quite a few. Have any of them been good? (If you say, "Bewitched", stop reading this and never visit this site again.)

Of course, we're sure to see more of these films in the future, so let's imagine the possibilities:

• "GILLIGAN'S ISLAND"- Where is this movie?! I would have thought this would be the first baby boomer adaptation produced! That guy from SCRUBS is perfect for Gilligan, and you just know John Goodman would be a fantastic Skipper, providing Jim Belushi is unavailable.

• "HOGAN'S HEROES"- Nazis + POW's = Hilarity! 'Nuff said. I hope George Clooney has an opening in his schedule!

• "DIFFERN'T STROKES"- Oh what a heartwarmer this would be! Just as in the 80's, I'm sure that all African Americans fantasized that their parents would die, and that they'd be adopted by their mother's rich, white, former employer. Oh, the laughs that would ensue! Especially if the younger of the 2 kids had a "sassy" attitude. To give the project some class, I suggest Anthony Hopkins in the role of Mr. Drummond. 

As an added bonus, at the time of the film's release, the E! channel could start re-running all their documentaries on the terrible things that happened to the children on the original show.

• "F-TROOP"- Come on! This is a no-brainer! It has everything Hollywood execs look for in a TV movie adaptation: 1) A show few people remember and, 2) A premise that will have to be completely rethought to make it politically correct. What a wonderful vehicle this would be to dramatize the plight of Native Americans in the Old West. Not to mention the experiences of post- Civil War veterans as well. With lots of fart jokes, of course.

If the rights to do this show are unavailable, we could always do a CGI "GO, GO GOPHERS".

And of course, let's not forget the most obvious choice: •" I DREAM OF JEANNIE: THE MOVIE"!
I have actually heard rumors that this film is in development, and I'm not surprised. It has everything a TV movie adaption needs: A dated premise, a show everyone watched but few cared for, and plenty of opportunities for simplistic sexual innuendo. Throw in casting the latest hot chick from TV (Jeannie) and some marginal actor from a hot TV show trying to jump-start their film career (Major Nelson), and, KA-CHING! Biggest opening weekend box office ever for a movie in the middle of March!

I would be dishonest if I didn't admit that all these thoughts of crummy TV show movie adaptations hasn't got me to thinking about my own pitch for a Retro-TV adaptation. Since you have been nice enough to read this far, I'll share my pitch with you tomorrow.


Actually, that's not bad...


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