Guest Blog

• Due to a recent illness, the regular author of this blog is unable to post. To fill this void, and since he has nothing else to do, we have turned this blog over to none other than Rocco the Wonder Dog for today. Here is his post:

My name is Rocco. Don't call me that, though. Unless you have food or are going to take me outside, I will not respond.

I live with four hairless creatures. For some reason, they walk on their two back legs instead of all four. Why, I don't know. Maybe it is because it enables them to open the shiny metal box that holds all the good food, a trick I am unable to do myself.

The hairless creatures are pretty nice, and I enjoy hanging out with them, especially if they are eating something. My favorite is the one they call "Daddy". He is around a lot, and when he is eating, I can usually get him to share with me by using my patented "sad-I-am-so-hungry" face. I also let him sleep in my bed, which for some reason he thinks is his. Silly Daddy! I gently remind him it is Rocco's bed, by pushing him over and snoring as loudly as I can.

Another hairless one I live with is called "Mumma". I like her, but she has her faults. Can't a dog whizz on the rug without her raising a ruckus? She is also quite stingy when it comes to sharing food. I also hear her make noises that sound like, "He peed on the rug again!", or something like that. Then she sprays some substance on the rug that totally ruins the smell I marked my spot with.

They actually make a lot of noises, these hairless ones. I really don't understand any of the noises they make, except for maybe "food" or "out". They seem to use the noise, "NO ROCCO!", a lot, but I have no idea what that means. Can't they just bark like a normal canine? Sometimes they do attempt to bark, but their grammar is pathetic.

Sometimes, they get in these big machines they have that go places. Often, they are gone for a long time, and I wonder if they will ever come back. So far, they have always returned, but it is still worrisome. Once and awhile, they take me with them, and we go to a place where I can run around all I like and smell all kinds of smells. You have to be careful about getting into one of those machines though: Sometimes they take you to a horrible place, where other hairless ones look in your mouth and ears, and poke you with stingy things. Why they think Rocco would want to go somewhere like this is beyond me!

Overall, I lead a pretty pleasant life, and if only squirrels would understand that they are not allowed in MY yard, I would be one happy dog.

I have to go now. The Daddy one is opening up the food box!