Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Drawing Conclusions

Perfect Wife and I love shopping at the dollar store. We love it because: A) We're cheap, and B) we find great bargains on stuff we need that we really don't want to fork over a lot of dough for, like toilet paper and dog food for Rocco the Wonder Dog. Don't think that we are treating him poorly by feeding him cheap food. Rocco does not exactly possess an educated palette, and he as just as happy with the cheap stuff as he is with some designer dog food that costs more than our food does.

On our recent trip to the dollar store, I bought myself a few pads of newsprint. I like to sketch on newsprint, but it is, for some reason, really pricey at the art supply store. The pads I got were nothing fancy. They were children's coloring pads, but I don't mind since they were, after all, only a dollar! 

Since these pads were intended for children, the manufacturer of them must have worried that once kids had them in hand, they wouldn't know that they could draw in them. He also must have worried that even if they were aware of the pad's potential for drawing, they would not know how to draw. He must have made the decision to teach them how to draw, himself. Inside the front cover of the pad is the instruction sheet you see here (click on it to see it bigger), titled "Drawing Ideas"

The lessons start on a troubling note. The  child attempting to follow these instructions must first get past a mocking child at the top of the page. "Have fun learning to draw", he sneers at you, as if a loser like you is never going to be able to learn to draw, and you most certainly won't have fun trying. Fortunately for the reader, there is also a dog at the top of the page, encouraging the child  with a confidence-building cry of "WOOF!"

Once we get past these two, we get to the lessons. Since space was limited, the author of this piece had to focus on only four subjects to teach you to draw. He (or she) selected a flower, a butterfly, a fish and a dog's head. I personally think you might want to learn how to draw a few more things than this, but that's just my opinion. Perhaps there is some child out there who will one day make his fortune with a popular comic strip about the wacky adventures of a flower, a butterfly, a fish and a dog's head. The money from merchandising rights alone might be tremendous, given the popularity of flowers, butterflies, fish and dogs' heads.

That sure would show that kid at the top of the page!

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Blogger Pepper Potts said...

Dollar Tree is great, and the values are tremendous--except the dollar pair of reading glasses I bought which broke the first day I used them. Oh well.. sometimes you get what you pay for..

January 12, 2010 at 4:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel bad for your dog! He may not be smart enough to know that the cheap food you give him has no nutritional value, but your stupidity will cost you a lot more in vet bills than in $1 dog food. Rocco's health is worth it!

January 12, 2010 at 11:43 PM  
Anonymous Chris Sabatino said...

Finally...the secret to drawing a correct butterfly! THANK YOU! The dollar store is a blessing & a curse....it's like someone opening a brand new box of candy and saying help yourself....so much stuff for only a buck...why not buy it all??!! But the lady at the register at our local $1 Store seems to hate me, although she is always nice to all the other customers, she only scowls at me....I don't know why....I have dollars.

January 13, 2010 at 9:06 AM  
Blogger Bill White said...

Anonymous #1- Fret not, the nutritional info on the label says that it "provides a balanced diet for adult dogs", so Rocco is "eating healthy". That is, as healthy as someone who tried to eat a squashed squirrel on the road the other day can eat!

Anonymous #2- I don't know. That sounds serious. If it continues to itch and swell, I would see a Doctor. You don't want to take chances down there!

Chris-Do you go with your wife? Dollar Store chicks are hot for cartoonists, so she may be jealous. I speak from personal experience.

January 13, 2010 at 9:23 AM  
Blogger Bill White said...


The Anonymous #2 post I referred to above was a gobbledygook of asian letters. Totally unreadable in the Western world, which made my reply funny.

It turns out it was a link to an Asian porno site. Yuck. So I deleted it. I may have to start blocking "Anonymous" posts if this keeps up, even though most of you Anonymouses are lovely.

Special thanks to the reader who alerted me to this. Sorry you had to see that nasty stuff.

January 13, 2010 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger P.L. Frederick said...

Ha hah! That last drawing read like an Agatha Christie mystery. I thought it was a pear but it turned out to be a dog.

January 13, 2010 at 3:05 PM  
Blogger David said...

I got one of those Asian pornsite links comment on my blog too. And I got one that when you clicked on the person posting, it went to an ad for a people who will write term papers for you. Sadly, I had to change my blog settings to only post comments after I approve them.

January 15, 2010 at 7:47 PM  
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March 20, 2010 at 10:51 PM  

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