Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Future is Today!

When I was growing up in the sixties and seventies, we were constantly exposed to the wonders the future held for us. Star Trek showed us hand-held communicators and transporters, The Jetsons promised flying cars that would fold up into a briefcase. There were also the wisecracking robots, like the one featured on Lost in Space, who would be our friend even when our flesh and blood peers had abandoned us.

Now that we are actually living "in the future" a lot of the things science fiction promised us have not been delivered. We still don't have flying cars (at least not at a reasonable price that will fold into a briefcase), and I am still anxiously awaiting a teleporter. We do, however, have a communicator, in the form of cell phones, as well as talking computers, iPhones™, microwave ovens, the Internet, the SlapShot™, and a whole host of other items that we could only dream about years ago. 

One innovation has still evaded us. Until now. For centuries, man has looked for a way to tote our food around, without having to bother with things like plates, knives and forks. Well, thanks to minds greater than ours, this dilemma will soon be a thing of the past. In trolling the web, I discovered a new invention, a wonder for our time. I discovered: THE CRISPYCONE™!

By clicking on the link above, you can see this marvel in action. For those too lazy to check, the Crispycone™ is similar to an ice cream cone, except instead of being sweet, it is more bread-like. This allows you to fill it full of any foodstuff you wish. Scrambled eggs, salads, pizza, stir fry, BBQ- anything you used to slap between two slices of bread or plop on  a plate, you can stuff in a Crispycone™, and be on your way. As the company's catch phrase says, "it's the food you love, in a cone!" The company plans to sell this product pre-filled at convenience stores and the like, as well as empty cones in your grocer's freezer, that you can fill up with your own concoctions. What a boon to mankind this will be! No more dishes to wash! Sleep in a few more minutes, and eat your breakfast in the car! The mind boggles with the possibilities.

The only drawback to this innovation? So far, they seem to be unavailable to the general public, so don't throw out your tableware just yet. Hopefully, this will change soon, and I will get a chance to sample a "taste of the future". For you Luddites out there who find this concept "gross" or "disgusting", remember: That's what they said about corn dogs and fried cheese.

Yes, the future is truly here! 

Now if I could just get a robot friend.

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5 Comments:

Blogger David said...

Speaking of 'Foods of the Future', do you remember eating Pillsbury "Space Food Sticks" in the early 70's? I ate box loads of these things. Here is a site that has a history of them and some of the TV commercials.

http://www.spacefoodsticks.com/pres.html

I think the first commercial is actual footage of an Apollo flight to the moon :)

January 14, 2010 at 6:34 PM  
Blogger Bill White said...

David-

Ahh... Space Food Sticks! I remember them well. I too ate 'em by the box full. Since I loved them so much, the of course, stopped making them. The went to the Island of Beloved Snack Foods, along with Educator Crackers, Chipsters, Doo-Dads, Dippy Canoes-

I have to stop. I'm getting hungry!

January 16, 2010 at 11:06 AM  
Blogger P.L. Frederick said...

"Educator Crackers"? What the—?

January 16, 2010 at 1:10 PM  
Blogger Bill White said...

Yes, P.L., Educator Crackers. You must remember them: Yummy cheese crackers in a brown and white box? They put Cheese Nips/Its to shame!

January 16, 2010 at 10:41 PM  
Anonymous DrNightmare said...

I can already see the Simpsons making fun of this; Homer destroying all his dishes in a fiery armageddon in anticipation, only to have these cones be canceled due to their cause of "exploding-heart syndrome". har har

Awesome info, thanks!

February 11, 2010 at 11:05 AM  

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