Sunday, October 26, 2008

My Twenty Five Cent Idea!

Since I was gracious enough to share one of my million dollar ideas with you the other day, here's an idea for something on the other end of the spectrum, a really derivative piece of crap that will never (hopefully) see the light of day. But first, a bit of history on the inspiration for this concept:

Lately, when I have been gazing out at the suburban wilderness that is my backyard, I have been noticing an increased activity in the local squirrel population. I surmise this is because they are busily preparing for the upcoming Winter. Or maybe the raccoons that have been stealing my cigarettes are sharing them with their forest friends, and the squirrels have a nicotine buzz.

All squirrels look pretty much alike to me (but I'm no racist!), however, one stands out. This squirrel, whom I've named "Stumpy" is missing a significant portion of his tail. Whether this is the result of genetics or an unfortunate encounter with one of the predators in our area, we may never know (conversations with squirrels, are difficult, at best, I have learned).

Stumpy (I named him that because his tail is a stump, get it?) does not seem like a happy boy. In my unscientific observations, squirrels seem to get a lot of their balance, agility and grace from their tails. Stumpy is pretty awkward, which must be embarrassing. The stump-tail also looks awful. Something lady squirrels might find unappealing.

I began to wonder, is Stumpy the butt of nasty remarks from his squirrel peers? Do they make fun of him and not let him join in any squirrel games? This led to the inspiration to yet another idea for another heartwarming children's book:

"STUMPY THE STUMP-TAILED SQUIRREL"!

This wanna-be classic would deal with a little squirrel, who is different from everyone else (because his tail is a stump, remember?). His difference would eventually prove to be an asset, as he saves everyone from some dilemma using his "difference".

This is an awful idea. 

It's one thing for a baby elephant to fly, or a reindeer with a laser nose to save Christmas, but no one really wants to see a story about a disfigured rodent. And how much trouble can squirrels get into? Also, what is the use of a stumpy tail?

Still, people paid money to see a movie about a rat working in a restaurant, so you never know!

I'm open to all offers.


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5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello there, Bill. I have spent the past half hour reading the blog, which does, I must admit, more or less replicate the experience of actually knowing you. I will, in future, try to check in more often and leave comments. Love,
P.

October 26, 2008 at 3:54 PM  
Blogger Bill White said...

Anonymous, I assume, is my sister. Which just goes to show how rapidly the readership of this blog is growing!

October 26, 2008 at 5:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, where's the credit for a relative who's already been reading & commenting. You always liked her best. Ah...I mean whoever that "anonymous" person is...I mean, if she were your sister and say I was your sister...soemthing like that :)

October 26, 2008 at 5:47 PM  
Blogger Bill White said...

Now, now, there's plenty of me to go around!

BTW, I love both my siblings...

October 26, 2008 at 10:17 PM  
Blogger Mark Heng said...

Wow, that plot line pretty much sums up most of the story ideas the other students had at the illustration class John F and I attended...

October 27, 2008 at 9:13 AM  

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