It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Halloween...

It's almost time for the scariest day of the year. No, not April 15th, HALLOWEEN!

Since we are not going to be hosting a Halloween party this year (we're still recovering from the last one), I have been putting together a "Film Festival" of the scariest films I can think of. Here they are, in no particular order:

• THE AMITYVILLE HORROR. I don't really care for this film, but it is my Perfect Wife's pick as a really scary movie. I think that has to do with her seeing it a a teenager and not liking swarms of flies, much.

• THE THING. I like the original, but PW chimed in again and reminded me what a nail-biter the John Carpenter remake was. The scene where they do the blood test to see who is the alien had me screaming like a woman.

• ROSEMARY'S BABY. If your life is pleasant, and you feel the need to be creeped out and depressed, you can't pick a better film than this. Also, Ruth Gordon is in it, which is always disturbing.

• TRILOGY OF TERROR. This was a TV movie, but everyone of my generation remembers very well the Zuni Hunting Fetish doll chasing Karen Black around her apartment. I dunno if it's out on DVD, but if it is, rent it. You can thank/curse me later.

• PET SEMETARY. Murderous children are always unnerving (see, THE BAD SEED & VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED), but this flick raises the bar by having a monstrous brat kill Fred Gwynn.

• RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD. There are a lot  of zombie flicks out there, but for me (PW disagrees), this gets my nod. Nothing is more horrible to watch than stupid decisions leading to an awful situation that just gets awfuler and awfuler. Much like the upcoming election.

• ALIEN. This film's impact has been diluted by sequels and spinoffs over the years, but I remember seeing this film in high school with my friend Max, and at the end of the film we realized we had been squeezing each other's hand. Not a good experience for two 17 year old boys. Sorry to bring this up again, Max, but this film gets top marks for pure anxiety.

• ABBOT & COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN. This isn't scary, but it's one of my favorite films, and  no Halloween would be complete  without at least one viewing of it. If you have kids, it is a great alternative to any of the crappy Halloween films they show on the ABC Family Channel.

• DAWN OF THE DEAD. Yep, another zombie flick. This is the remake. No offense to George Romero, but the first ten minutes of this film are amazing. The rest of the film? Eh.

But what is my choice as the  creepiest film for a Halloween night? Is it the original HALLOWEEN? Or SILENCE OF THE LAMBS? Or even SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE? No, my choice is:

• KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE. As an avowed clown-o-phobe, I have no idea why I originally even watched a film with this title, but it did not disappoint. This one gets a big 10 on the flip-me-out meter.

I'm sure there are a lot of scary films and TV shows I'm forgetting (insert DANCING WITH THE STARS joke here), but those  are my top picks.

Have a happy, safe Halloween, everyone! Just remember: If you give out Payday candy bars, you have no one but yourself to blame when your house gets egged.