Friday, July 2, 2010

"And the Soda Bursting in the Air..."

This weekend, we here in the good ol' US of A celebrate Independence Day. Not the day Bill Pullman and Will Smith saved the world from CGI destructive aliens, but the day America severed our ties with Jolly Olde England. Well, until The Beatles came along, anyway.

Good Patriots nationwide celebrate the day by having an outdoor cookout, followed by the tradition of blowing stuff up, usually fireworks. The problem is that fireworks, while undeniably entertaining, are very dangerous. Especially in the hands of children and drunken adults, the two most frequent users of fireworks. Too bad there isn't some sort of safe explosive display you can set off to stir the feelings of patriotism amongst your friends and neighbors.

Oh, but there is! 

All you need is a cheap 2 liter bottle of soda and a package of Mentos™ ("The Fresh-Maker") Mints. Unscrew the bottle of soda and shove the whole, unwrapped package of  Mentos™ into the bottle, then step back. Way back. You will be treated to a giant geyser of soda hundreds, if not twenty, feet in the air, that is at least as impressive (if not as destructive) as an M-80. Put on some patriotic music, and only a dirty rat commie will be unmoved by this liquid tribute to liberty. At the very least, the kids will think it's cool.

For best results, use a bright color of soda. I like orange for its fiery, lava-like effect, but any color will do. Some say diet soda causes a better reaction than sweetened soda, but I fail to see the difference. Also, make sure to use the mint flavors of Mentos™. The fruit flavors don't produce as grand a geyser. Make sure you get a few rolls of Mentos™ and bottles of soda. I  guarantee onlookers will demand more than one performance.

If you feel that a "Mentos™ Soda Geyser/Volcano", is not destructive enough to celebrate the day, there is a variation. Simply loosely replace the cap on the soda bottle after you insert the Mentos™.  This will create an out-of-control projectile, that, while not a destructive as a bottle rocket, will certainly do some good ol' fashioned harm if it hits someone or something. Keep the dog inside. If you like them, that is.

No matter how you celebrate the holiday, have fun. Remember it is a privilege to be  an American. Be grateful that you live in a nation where you are free to do stupid things like making Mentos™ Volcanoes!

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3 Comments:

Blogger P.L. Frederick said...

This is an awesome piece of information. Might I recommend red, white, and blue bottles?

July 5, 2010 at 7:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

one of my most vivid 4th of july memories involves a bangsite cannon (which are made in the town next to the town where i grew up).

i was 6 years old and had been swimming in my little plastic kiddie pool. after i got out of the water i noticed my neighbor and his father were playing with a bangsite cannon, and went over to investigate.

i sat down next to them and picked up the tube of bangsite to see what it was. i found out EXACTLY what it was when the bangsite powder poured out of the tube and onto my wet leg! (when added to water, bangsite becomes a combustible, like gasoline).

eeteed

July 6, 2010 at 2:12 PM  
Blogger Bill White said...

P.L.- What a moving tribute to our great nation that would make. It might be a logistical nightmare, though.

eeteed- Shoofly Pie, Bangsite Cannons... The exciting things that are exclusive to you folks in PA.

Your incident sounds rather painful. Hope it ended well. On their web page, the manufacturers boast about the safety of their product.

July 8, 2010 at 8:43 PM  

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