Monday, February 14, 2011
It's Valentine's Day! The day we let our true love know just how much they mean to us! Isn't it a wonderful holiday?!
No. No, it is not.
Valentine's is a terrible holiday. Everybody hates it. Lonely single people hate it because seeing all the supposedly "happy" couples and all the relentless TV commercials hawking romantic crap make them feel even worse about their singleness. People who have somehow managed to find a significant other dislike the day because on this one "special day", they are expected to make some grand "romantic" gesture (or at least buy a gift) to prove to their partner how much they love them. Or at least keep up the charade for their family and friends. Aren't they already doing that all year long?! People trapped in loveless relationships have it worst of all.
The only folks who really like this holiday are, of course, the people who can make a profit on it. Greeting card companies, jewellers, candy makers and the like, love this day because it fills the void between Christmas and Mother's Day. Two of the other holidays where you HAVE to buy something for someone because after all, if you don't, you're scum. Or you should feel that way, at least.
I say "feh", on this holiday! If you are not in a relationship, don't feel bad. Celebrate your single stature! How? Just read my post from last year on this subject. It really is true.
One thing NOT to do is the annual holiday tradition some single people observe: Getting liquored up and calling an ex, "just to say 'hi'". This never goes well. Also, avoid any singles dances tonight. Sure, you might meet that "special someone", but you unless you really enjoy the heady aroma of desperation, I'd avoid attending one of these events. Just do what you normally do (make sure the shades are pulled, please), and be happy with what you are.
For those already in a relationship, why do you need some stupid holiday to show how you care? Do it every day, or you may end up like:
The people in a horrible relationship. If you are one of these poor souls, break it off today! If you're not happy, why hang around and make someone else miserable? It might hurt now, but in the long run, it may be the best Valentine present you ever give. Also, how cool to be able to tell people you broke up on Valentine's Day?
As for me, regular readers of this blog know I have a blissful relationship with my Perfect Wifey. She fills me with so much happiness, that all of you who look us with envy and bitterness are completely justified. It makes celebrating on one "special day" ridiculous. Case in point: Tonight we are doing something completely unromantic, and I couldn't care less. I'm sure she feels likewise. I sincerely hope that all of you reading this find something like this. If that's what you want.
If not, get a cat.
Tolerable Valentine's Day to one and all!
UPDATE 2/17/11: Not rub you lonely people's noses in it, but my Perfect Wifey went out and proved that she is my Valentine for life. For my gift, she went to great time and trouble to get me an action figure I have been wanting for a while: A Star Wars Super Articulated Stormtrooper! I know you're thinking, "What is he, an idiot? Or a geek?" Yes, yes I am.
I got her a carpet cleaner. Hey! She wanted one!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
To all of you people in more temperate climates, save your snickers. We will be having the last laugh come hurricane/tornado season.
Labels: Captain Cold